Butter Is the New Birkin

The economy is crumbling, but at least Erewhon sells couture bananas.

DISCLAIMER: It’s my birthday, and instead of peacefully enjoying it, I logged onto TikTok and saw someone pay a fortune for a single strawberry at Erewhon. A single. Strawberry. Meanwhile, families are relying on food banks because the cost of basics like bread and butter has become ridiculous. Why does it feel like we’re going backwards, where fresh food is a luxury and ultra-processed junk is all people can afford?

I don’t know when it happened, but at some point, food (the thing we literally need to survive) has became a status symbol. Like, SORRY, is fresh produce now a quiet luxury? Is an apple a designer good? Are we all supposed to act like whole foods and basic nutrition aren’t being priced out of reach while a single sad strawberry from Erewhon costs more than my hourly wage? 🍓 (And it’s not even a good strawberry. It’s just been hand-washed by a private chef and emotionally validated by a life coach.)

Meanwhile, the UK is out here with record-breaking food bank usage. Families are literally choosing between heating or eating, but sure… let’s keep pretending that the real problem is people being bad with money. Let’s act like the cost of living crisis is just a budgeting issue and not the direct result of unchecked corporate greed and policies that have somehow made basic human survival a privilege.

Like, we’re at the point where BUTTER is a luxury. BUTTER. The most basic spread known to man. You used to just throw it in your trolley without a second thought. Now, you have to consider whether it’s worth the investment. Do you want to pay rent this month, or do you want the rich, creamy taste of financial ruin? Lurpak out here sitting on the shelf at £7 like it’s fucking caviar.

And don’t even THINK about cheese. A block of cheddar now costs the same as an engagement ring. Want parmesan? Get a loan. A single Tesco Finest mozzarella ball now costs what it used to take to FEED A FAMILY FOR A WEEK.

And the worst part? This isn’t normal. Everyone keeps saying, “Oh, well, other countries have it worse.” OKAY?? That’s not a flex. Why are we competing for last place in the global survival Olympics? Food shouldn’t be a privilege. It shouldn’t be some status signifier. It’s the bare minimum requirement for being alive, and yet here we are, scrolling through TikToks of quiet luxury fridge restocks where influencers arrange gold-plated blueberries and aesthetic oat milks like they’re curating a museum exhibit.

BRING BACK FUCKING ALLOTMENTS. 🥕🌿✨ No, seriously. Let’s go full 1940s wartime ration mode. Imagine a world where we actually had the time and space to grow our own food again. But oh wait… we don’t. Because capitalism has squeezed every last second out of our day, leaving us too exhausted to cook, let alone plant a fucking vegetable. We don’t have the time because we’re working ourselves to death just to afford Tesco’s Reduced Section.

Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian is out here posing with an Erewhon x Balenciaga bag, as if a smoothie from Erewhon isn’t already a bigger financial commitment than my rent. (Why are there collabs between a supermarket and a fashion house? Are they making couture rice cakes now? Are we supposed to pair our overpriced kombucha with a matching handbag??) Food has literally become fashion. It’s an accessory now.

And all of this could be fixed. But instead of questioning why the basics of survival cost more than ever, we’re just out here swapping Lurpak for Spreadable Poverty and acting like that’s just the way things are now. Absolutely not. I refuse to live in a world where basic nutrition is an aesthetic trend, and I have to make financial decisions about TOAST.

Food should nourish us. Not financially ruin us.