Lonely Men? That’s a ‘Them’ Problem, Not a ‘Me’ Problem

(The Male Loneliness Epidemic)

DISCLAIMER: If you’re a soft, self-aware man who actively works on himself and understands the value of emotional intelligence, this isn’t about you—relax. This is for the men who refuse to grow, who double down on outdated masculinity, and then cry about being lonely. If that’s you, take a deep breath and reflect before foaming at the mouth in my comments.

Men are lonely. Apparently, this is a crisis. A full-blown epidemic. We’re supposed to be deeply concerned because (gasp) the demographic that spent centuries degrading, dismissing, and devaluing emotional connection is now struggling to form meaningful relationships. Tragic.

We’re talking about a group that collectively decided love and vulnerability were for the weak. They built entire industries off of depersonalised intimacy (porn), reduced affection to a transaction ("she only wants me for my money"), and turned any expression of kindness into an emasculating insult ("simp" culture). And now? Now, they’re crying into the void because nobody wants to deal with them.

And you know what? I’m pissed. Because all I see online, especially on TikTok, are videos about the male loneliness epidemic. And the sheer volume of men commenting on these videos is astounding. The floodgates open, and suddenly, it’s a national tragedy. And women? Oh, they’re there. They’re offering sympathy, solutions, support… because, of course, they are. But the moment we point out why this epidemic exists, we’re belittled. We’re called bitter, man-hating, and oh my personal favourite, told we’re making it all about us.

Meanwhile, women can be assaulted, abused, and degraded, and when we talk about it, we’re labelled as attention seekers. We’re met with “it’s not all men,” as if that somehow negates the lived experiences of millions of women. But here’s the kicker: statistically, it actually is quite a lot of men. Enough that if you’re a man reading this, you likely know someone who does these things—and you probably allow it to happen without saying a damn thing.

Rebranding ‘consequences’ as an ‘epidemic’ is insane.

Let’s break this down. These are the same men who:

• Call any form of emotional depth gay and shame each other for showing feelings. (The fragility is astounding.)

• Spend their time listening to rap songs that degrade women, while simultaneously idolising men who beat them. (You are what you consume, gentlemen.)

• Engage with "alpha male" podcasts that actively teach them to treat women as subhuman.

• Vote against women’s rights and then wonder why women don’t trust them. (Basic cause and effect.)

• Think being kind and gentle with a woman is embarrassing but will unironically worship the ground Andrew Tate walks on.

• Say that women are “gold diggers” who “only want a rich man” while also refusing to date a woman who makes more money than them. (So do we have financial standards, or are we just upset?)

And now, after building this hostile, emotionally barren world, they’re left wondering why they’re lonely.

The patriarchy suffering under patriarchal norms is peak irony.

We live in a society where men set the rules. They created the systems, they built the expectations, they designed masculinity to be cold, detached, and devoid of any softness. And guess what? It’s not working for them either. But instead of confronting the issue head-on—by, I don’t know, going to therapy or developing emotional depth—they’re blaming women for not wanting to engage with their mess.

And, of course, we’re supposed to fix it. We’re supposed to look at these emotionally unavailable, socially stunted men and feel bad for them. We're supposed to throw them a rope, coax them into vulnerability, and lovingly rehabilitate them like some kind of trauma zookeeper.

Why should I sacrifice my well-being for their loneliness?

No, really. Why is it my job to emotionally babysit someone who actively chooses not to work on himself? Why is it my responsibility to tolerate someone who hasn’t even done the bare minimum to be a decent human being? I know there are good men out there (the myth, the legend), but in reality, they are rare, and I only seem to meet insufferable ones.

Women are done contorting themselves into palatable shapes to soothe men who refuse to self-reflect. I am not a human emotional support animal. I am not a prize for good behaviour. I am not interested in fixing someone who won’t even try to be a better person.

Men could change. They choose not to.

The solutions are simple.

• Stop consuming media that degrades women. (Yes, this includes music, movies, and TikToks where the punchline is “women bad.”)

• Go to therapy instead of expecting your next girlfriend to double as your therapist.

• Stop treating love and kindness like weaknesses and then wondering why no one wants to be around you.

• Develop a personality that isn’t just hating women.

• Actually work on yourself instead of waiting for a woman to “fix” you.

But the reality is, many men won’t do any of this. Because fixing the issue would require them to hold themselves accountable. And that, my friends, is a fate worse than loneliness.

So, if you’re a man reading this and foaming at the mouth because you feel attacked, consider this: maybe the real epidemic isn’t loneliness. Maybe it’s the refusal to change.