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here, hold my coffee's avatar

Found myself nodding in agreement through this entire piece. Especially the parts about not being too much when your by yourself (so fucking conditioned to stay small - until recently, shame would creep up and I would forget my own pleasure and dial back the moans) and the part you mentioned that this epidemic amongst all groups of people. I love having sex with my partner. I love pleasuring her and I love being pleasured. But she's mistaken my arousal (and validated that insecurity of being too much) for being too much like a corny teenage boy who gets off when the wind blows. Thank you for normalizing the imperfections of this topic.

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Joey Hespe ✨'s avatar

Hands down one of the best articles I’ve read on Substack.

“That’s what the male gaze does—it doesn’t need to be present to police you. You carry it in your brain like a corrupted USB file, glitching every time you just want to feel something without staging it for male approval.” Wallop.

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