Wow! This is SO good…and I’m feeling more empowered just from reading it. Love your writing so much (just reposted in fact) Not sure my ‘ouvre’ overlaps too much with yours…but would love you to take a look at my posts. They’re all about being authentic about my trauma 🙌
Honestly, the unicorn is a gateway drug. I lure people in with whimsical chaos, then hit them with cultural analysis and feminist rage. Appreciate you staying for the unfiltered feelings — more where that came from.
Right? That line came to me mid-rant and I had to put the kettle on just to calm down. Emotions are not pollution, and I will die on that hill. Appreciate the five stars — emotionally dumped and proud.
Thank you so much! It means a lot. I’m basically just yelling into the void about feelings and hypocrisy, but if it gets anyone thinking, then the void has done its job.
I overshare like fuck. Learning that at times ok yes it is too much or someone’s nervous system may not handle it but the key point is learning. But oversharing shouldn’t be demonised. Because yes, it can totally make a woman feel she is too much and I’ve deffo felt all of those feels being an ADHDer and a woman in general. This was brilliantly expressed and made me feel seen 🩷
This is brilliant Jessica! So many thoughts came to mind while reading it.
The first was my recent experience about being goaded into talking about my break up only to be told my friend "didn't want to hear about it" as soon as I suggested I might be hurting. He wanted the gossip and to say "I told you so" but not to validate my feelings.
The second, on the women of colour front, I had a channel on the other day playing old music videos and my son (21) walked in while the spice girls were on and asked "why was she called scary spice?" Yes, quite! Because she was black and didn't hold back. That scares people.
Finally, I can't help thinking that social media has had so much to do with the worsening of the phenomenon. We have shortened attention spans, and seek instant gratification. If you're trauma doesn't give me a buzz in the first 30 seconds, it's on to something else. We'll sit through it, if we identify with it or we get to feel superior to it, but not out of compassion. And social media has done away with our social safe spaces where women used to share our deepest emotions. Going for a coffee and REALLY talking is increasingly rare, and once upon a time, that would have been a minimum. Think way back in history to the days of Red Tents. Or not so far back to the days of sewing bees, or young mums having coffee mornings. These were our sacred safe places and the modern world has done away with them all. Thank God for Substack I say, where I can pour out my heart, and if people don't want to know, they just don't read it, but there will be someone who sees it and says "Yes! I hear you!"
I appreciate the intro to terms I’ve not heard before like “trauma dumping”. A new one on me but your line of reasoning is spot on and delivered from a place of experience, which makes it resonate. Glad I found your writing. Looking forward to more!
This is exactly why I write — to put names to those weird little gut feelings we’ve all had but couldn’t explain. So glad it resonated, and welcome aboard the emotionally messy (but highly reflective) train.
Wow! This is SO good…and I’m feeling more empowered just from reading it. Love your writing so much (just reposted in fact) Not sure my ‘ouvre’ overlaps too much with yours…but would love you to take a look at my posts. They’re all about being authentic about my trauma 🙌
Thank you so much!🥹
I’ve just had a look at your articles, and I love the vulnerability! I look forwards to seeing your work💗
Thanks so much! 🙏
I won’t lie, I came for the unicorn picture, but the post was excellent and was the reason I stayed!
Honestly, the unicorn is a gateway drug. I lure people in with whimsical chaos, then hit them with cultural analysis and feminist rage. Appreciate you staying for the unfiltered feelings — more where that came from.
Well played indeed 🤣
“When did feeling become littering?”
Damn. Five stars 🔥
Right? That line came to me mid-rant and I had to put the kettle on just to calm down. Emotions are not pollution, and I will die on that hill. Appreciate the five stars — emotionally dumped and proud.
Wonderfully insightful article as usual. Gave me so much to think and reflect on.
Thank you! So glad it gave you food for thought (and maybe a side of rage). Appreciate you reading.
I think you just wrote every rant I've ever had about women not being heard seen or taken seriously.
Really loved it. X
I’ve definitely had all of this locked up in my mind for YEARS! Thought it was time to release it because it definitely affects so many women🙃x
Wow so much to think about here! I really really enjoyed reading this.
Thank you so much! It means a lot. I’m basically just yelling into the void about feelings and hypocrisy, but if it gets anyone thinking, then the void has done its job.
I overshare like fuck. Learning that at times ok yes it is too much or someone’s nervous system may not handle it but the key point is learning. But oversharing shouldn’t be demonised. Because yes, it can totally make a woman feel she is too much and I’ve deffo felt all of those feels being an ADHDer and a woman in general. This was brilliantly expressed and made me feel seen 🩷
Dang…it’s like you have my bra strap bugged. 😝🤓🥰 Thank you for saying this so loudly and clearly.
This is brilliant Jessica! So many thoughts came to mind while reading it.
The first was my recent experience about being goaded into talking about my break up only to be told my friend "didn't want to hear about it" as soon as I suggested I might be hurting. He wanted the gossip and to say "I told you so" but not to validate my feelings.
The second, on the women of colour front, I had a channel on the other day playing old music videos and my son (21) walked in while the spice girls were on and asked "why was she called scary spice?" Yes, quite! Because she was black and didn't hold back. That scares people.
Finally, I can't help thinking that social media has had so much to do with the worsening of the phenomenon. We have shortened attention spans, and seek instant gratification. If you're trauma doesn't give me a buzz in the first 30 seconds, it's on to something else. We'll sit through it, if we identify with it or we get to feel superior to it, but not out of compassion. And social media has done away with our social safe spaces where women used to share our deepest emotions. Going for a coffee and REALLY talking is increasingly rare, and once upon a time, that would have been a minimum. Think way back in history to the days of Red Tents. Or not so far back to the days of sewing bees, or young mums having coffee mornings. These were our sacred safe places and the modern world has done away with them all. Thank God for Substack I say, where I can pour out my heart, and if people don't want to know, they just don't read it, but there will be someone who sees it and says "Yes! I hear you!"
Nooooo….. that is such a nasty, negative sounding word. Poor horsey 🥲please let’s fill the air with positivity ❤️❤️❤️
I appreciate the intro to terms I’ve not heard before like “trauma dumping”. A new one on me but your line of reasoning is spot on and delivered from a place of experience, which makes it resonate. Glad I found your writing. Looking forward to more!
This is exactly why I write — to put names to those weird little gut feelings we’ve all had but couldn’t explain. So glad it resonated, and welcome aboard the emotionally messy (but highly reflective) train.